Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
