my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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