I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
