can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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