Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
