The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
