That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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