Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
third nipple confirmed
You were trust falling into bushes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
