Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
