love makes seman taste better
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
