It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
