I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
