if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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