K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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