He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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