how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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