i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
