even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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