I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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