so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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