So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
