I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
