There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
