Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Less talking, more tequila
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
