How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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