what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't deserve a penis
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
