You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
