we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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