I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
