I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize