Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
they need to just BURY HIM!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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