I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
