Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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