Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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