Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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