Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
