We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's always time for handjobs
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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