Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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