Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
