One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
