I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
