I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize