Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
