I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
