i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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