If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
