I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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