respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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