I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
