I forgot how hot balto sounded
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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