My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
