I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
