i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
