This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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