i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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