she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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