Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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