dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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