i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
