Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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