hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
