Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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