Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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